Be Seen, Be Heard

 We have been through some STUFF in the past few months, haven’t we? Even if we have done nothing but sit at home and watch Netflix for 6 months -- that is still the definition of going through something. We have run dangerously low on toilet paper. We have struggled to figure out in April & May if masks are useful (hint: they really are) and how to best wear them and not be uncomfortable. We have watched as our neighbors broke quarantine earlier or later than we did -- or not at all. We have missed hugging our friends and family. We have watched our friends and family lose jobs and businesses and income. We have watched people struggle with loneliness. We have held our breath every time someone coughed. Or every time we didn’t feel quite right. 

And then we all watched George Floyd be killed on camera and we held our breath then, too before we cried or yelled in anger and stared in disbelief. And maybe started or continued or re-started reading and learning more about the history and current state of racism in our country. 

Our kids have been through some STUFF, too. They have been lonely -- or not. They have been hungry -- or not. They have had their summers disrupted -- or not. They have had powerful conversations about racism -- or not. They have been worried and have maybe had someone they knew or cared about who has gotten sick or maybe even possibly died -- or maybe it has all been a hoax in their family.

And the difference between kids and adults is that kids have been through a lot of what we have --  but with less control over their lives. They can’t control the TV channels that are on in their houses sometimes. Many of them can’t go apply for a job. They don’t get to determine curfews or living situations or what topics are acceptable or not in their home. They don’t determine the level of Covid-caution in their home (although some kids may rebel). 

And our kids who are learning at home can’t help be lonely. Some are all alone, all day. Some are learning at home quietly while a parent works from home. Some are with a grandparent or neighbor. Some are supervising a younger sibling or cousin. 

But they're not with their friends and peers. 

And our kids in the classroom are going to have a very different experience than they did last year. A masked, socially-distant year with virtual clubs and limited everything (but lots of cleaning!) is not normal. 

So I know you’re doing 100 things at once. You’re trying to figure out simultaneous teaching while you figure out socially distanced collaboration while you figure out sanitizing while you figure out Canvas.... It’s a hot mess and you have more on your plate than ever before. 

I’m sorry you’re in this position and if my Fairy Godmother skills were worth a darn, I would have fixed it for you. I wish I could

But just a reminder to do one not-so-simple-thing that’s really simple. 

See and hear and know every kid. Even the ones not in your room. 

Remember that every kid (and adult) needs to see and be seen, to hear and be heard, to know and be known. They need to really be a part of a community (much, much more than they need assignments and grades and pretty Canvas pages. 

Just like my own kids tried to Zoom-bomb every Teams call I’ve been on from home for the past 6 months, (uh, sorry ‘bout that)  every at-home kid has a deep need to see and be seen, to know and be known. (even when their cameras are off bc they’re embarrassed about their house/room/face/clothes/family members)

And even our in-person kids won’t be seen as usual with their masks on. It makes us all a little more anonymous and a little less seen.

It’s going to be so, so hard while virtual teaching or even harder while simultaneous teaching, but it’s not impossible. 

Here’s a few ideas. 

• Ask kids to turn on their cameras when they can/are comfortable.

• Ask kids to use Flipgrid from home to answer questions or to reflect

• Have kids turn in assignments that include more reflections than usual. 

• Ask a (talkative) student in the classroom to monitor the chat on their computer (or yours, if necessary) and be the voice for online kids

• Try to use Teams Channels for online students to have discussions (your live students can have socially distanced small group discussions or whole-class discussions or can can respond in writing on white boards)

• Use Nearpod! Live kids can see it on your smartboard or screen until the new laptops come in and at-home kids can use it on their own devices. It’s super easy!

• Use surveys and polls like “polling everywhere” (or on Nearpod) for kids to be heard

• Use online games (like Kahoots, Quizzes, Socrative, etc) that everyone can participate in

• Message your students in Canvas frequently (especially the online students)

I know that you are frantically scrambling. I also know that come Monday, you will be amazing. You always are. 

We have been through some stuff and so have our kids. Make sure that they are seen, heard, and known. Ask for help if you need it. 

Remember, we (your district SS team) are here to help in any way we can. Please hit us up any time you need us! 

It’s all crazy, but you are amazing and you have support. 

We can get through this STUFF together! 

-Tracy

So, raise your hand if you are doing great, during the weirdest Teacher Appreciation Week ever.  

Raise your hand if your house is clean, your heart is joyful, your belly is full of healthy foods, you are showered and dressed today, your brain is anxiety-free, you have exercised several days in a row, you are not angry at any politicians, neighbors, or family members, your students are ALL learning what they need to, and you aren’t worried about any of them. 

Yeah me neither. 

These times are hard. We keep saying unprecedented because there is literally. No. Precedent.  Sure, there was the huge Influenza outbreak in 1917-1918, but they didn’t have Zoom back then. Or 24 hour new cycles. Or social media. Or toilet paper (I guess we don’t have as much of that these days either)

This is different. And it’s ok to recognize that life is different. It’s not just “Regular Life: At Home Edition”.

I don’t know about you, but I am struggling with this new life. I have been sick (not COVID, just normal sick). I usually run a busy, active life and I find being at home all the time depressing. My house is a disaster. My kids are so socially isolated from friends, they’re depressed and acting out. Because I am a teacher, I can mitigate the effect that has on their grades and schoolwork, but I can’t imagine not having a Teacher Brain for this.  If I had a Retail Brain. Or an Accountant Brain or Some Other Brain. 

Let’s use my children (because they’re the ones in front of me) to look at kids as a whole.

I have a kindergartner and a 4th grader, but feel free to extrapolate this to middle and high school students who also have MUCH higher stakes (hormones, depression, graduation, etc.). 

My kids can’t see their friends. They are supremely isolated, despite the fact that their entire lives are normally lived communally -- at school, at before-care, at church, at scouts, at sports, at other activities. Kids spend most of their lives in “piles” and “packs” of other kids. 

So they’re withdrawing.  My 4th grader is spending more time on the computer than necessary. And my kindergartner is spending more time playing by himself. I have to drag them to talk and play and do things. 

Getting them to do or finish schoolwork is like pulling teeth despite the fact that there are TWO educated adults in this house working from home -- and ONE OF US IS A TEACHER!!!

They have lost their caring about schoolwork. Why?

Because as we all know, kids don’t work just because it’s “good for them”. They work because of relationships.  

And right now those relationships are a lot harder to see. 

In the regular world, we pull every trick in the book face to face to get kids to learn because learning doesn’t look very high up on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to a kid struggling with food insecurity or safety needs who’s going to get beat up today. 

Guess what? 

Learning looks a whole lot less important when there isn’t even a teacher’s face to cajole them into it. 

When there’s a pandemic going on. When there’s less food in the house than usual. When there’s no contact with other kids. When there’s no adults at school to notice that there’s a problem. When domestic violence is up. When neglect is rising. When depression is increasing exponentially. When kids are lonely and sad

Somehow, that assigned reading with the questions at the end doesn't seem that important to a kid with everything else going on. Especially if there’s no “you” (the teacher) in front of them to use the power of relationship to persuade them to do it. 

Heck, if that were me, I might not not even login. Depression and isolation are powerful forces. 

It is HARD to get motivated in the face of a pandemic. So says the disaster in my family room. So says my kindergartener who cries every time he has to do an assignment that he doesn't like (that doesn’t come with a video of his teacher to help him feel connected). So says my 4th grader who has no idea how to do time management (and neither do most of our middle and high schoolers). So says me, who is used to seeing the faces of my friends and colleagues. 

So says our students who are lonely and isolated. 

As you work through student grades, please be kind. Assume goodwill. Assume hardships that you don’t know about yet, not just in “those” households, but in any household. Please keep this unprecedented event in mind. Please keep the fact that you have no idea what’s happening behind closed doors and unlogged-in accounts.  Please keep in mind that there are bigger events happening than a couple of assignments.

This is not “Tracy-from-the-district” giving you a policy. I don’t make policy. This is Tracy the mom. Tracy the teacher. Tracy who loves kids. Tracy who knows kids who can’t handle all this. Who knows parents who are struggling. Who knows teachers who are struggling. 

And if you’re struggling, (as we ALL are) I hope you can get a chance to listen to the webinar that the amazing Ms. Darlene Rivers from Employee Wellness provided yesterday on Teams. She is so wise and helpful. Some of her advice for us was...

• Keeping perspective
• Finding good in any bad situation 
• Noticing when you are feeling stressed
• Breathing
• Focusing on things within your control
• Asking for help
• Following a schedule
• Making your bed daily
• Showering and putting on different clothes daily
• Sticking to a meal schedule
• Disconnecting from electronics and spend time with family 
• Planning your time
• Staying CALM
• C- Coping skills (give yourself positive messages, engage in enjoyable activities, relaxation techniques)
• A- Be aware but not opposed (stay informed but limit the amount of news)
• L -- Listen to reliable sources of information (CDC, WHO)
• M - Monitor yourself -- eat well, exercise, get enough sleep.

This is still hard, even if we’ve (mostly) figured out Teams. It’s still hard, maybe getting harder despite some stores and beaches opening. It’s still hard for kids, most of whom are still isolated and scared and lonely

Don’t forget to keep that in mind as you continue to keep up your relationships with them (when they log in) and as you work through grades. 

And PLEASE take care of yourself. You are essential workers with the craziest, fastest changes and moving targets. Your job is hard. I know. I see you working crazy hours. 

I appreciate you so, so much. Please appreciate yourself this week by taking care of yourself. Happy (weirdest) Teacher appreciation week!!  Please practice self-care, now, more than ever!!!  

As always, email me any time. I love to hear from you all! newmantr@pcsb.org 

-Tracy

They don't care about education

Sometimes, the universe converges so we hear the same phrase over and over again. I heard some version of this phrase at DWT, in classrooms, in meetings, overheard in hallways. 

It was teachers, expressing frustration about their students. Saying some version of “they don’t value (or care about) education”. Sometimes it was about the kids’ parents or families. 

And I totally get being frustrated with your students! I wish I could name all the kids who refused to do anything in my class. It sure looks like lack of caring, lack of value on education! But here’s four that stick out in my mind.

• Corey, who literally didn’t put pencil to paper all semester. He had an 8% in my class. 
• Yasmin, who showed up to school so rarely, I had to look up her name when she finally did. 
• Jeremy, who just wanted to goof off and crack jokes all period. He really didn’t take class seriously and was a distraction to the rest of the class. 
• Brianna, who argued with anything and everything I said (or anyone else, really). She didn’t like the assignments or how I gave them or how I graded them -- so she wouldn’t do them. 

So frustrating! 

I keep thinking back about them and about the phrase I kept hearing this week, about kids who “don’t care about their education”. 

Did I say that about Corey? About Yasmin? About Jeremy? About Brianna? I hope I didn’t. But maybe I did?

Did I actually think about the fact that their brains were in development and not fully “done” yet? That their impulse control and their problem solving skills were not fully formed and imperfect because of biology? Did I think that maybe I didn’t have a full picture of what’s going on in their lives? That while my housing and relationships are stable, maybe theirs are not?

Did I actually presume to make judgments about their inner values based on their adolescent behaviors?

Oh dear god. I hope not.

Did I really know what was going on in their lives? Did I know that Corey had executive function struggles, especially with the“task initiation” part of executive function?  Did I know that Yasmin’s mom was really sick and that Yasmin was skipping school to watch her little sister? Did I know that Jeremy lived with his mom but his dad had come back after being gone for a while and Jeremy was acting out because he didn’t know how he felt about Dad being back? Did I know that Brianna was acting tough and arguing with everyone because she was battling a bully? A bully that was making her feel awful about herself so she was making everyone around her feel awful too?

All that was happening to hormone-uneven, social beings with issues. They’re not fully formed human brains. They're still developing. They don’t make good decisions because the parts of the brain involved in decision-making aren’t fully developed until they’re 25 or so. These kids are nowhere near 25! So of course they're going to make bad choices. It’s part of growing up, not a sign of poor values.

It’s like asking an elementary school kid to dunk a basket on a regulation height hoop. Of course they can’t. They’re not done growing! They're not there yet, even if they’re trying. 

Same with asking a 15 year old to consistently make good decisions. They can’t. They’re not done growing. They're not there yet, even if they’re trying. 

That doesn't mean we don't ask kids to make good choices and we don’t expect them to and we don't teach them how to and we don’t reinforce HOW TO make good choices. Of course we do! 

It means we don’t assume that poor choices on the kids’ part equate to poor values. 

Poor choices equate to mistakes. Period.

I made poor choices when I was their age. You did too. 

A kid who skips school might value education just fine. She might just value not getting beat up by a bully that day even more. If I were in her shoes I might value the same priorities. 

A kid who doesn’t do any work might value education but not know how to start. It might be like how I avoid cleaning out my closet because it’s such a big task and I don’t know where to start. It’s called “task initiation” and it’s a real area of executive function. It’s not a problem with his values. It's a problem with his brain development. He might just need some accommodations. Sometimes, I don’t know where to start either. But I have developed strategies. He might not have those yet.  

A kid going through something emotional will act out. So will I. I was a lousy teacher the year I got divorced, all those years ago. Because while I prioritized my job, my emotions got in the way and distracted me. And I even had a fully developed brain at the time! 

(Remember being a teen and going through a break up and not knowing how to handle it because your brain wasn’t done growing and you didn't have experience to draw from? Ugh! That was so awful and heartbreaking!!) 

So I hope I didn’t make judgments about my kids ... but I probably did, because none of us are perfect. I’ve been caught up in negative thinking, too. So I hope you don’t make the mistakes I did. I hope you don’t take the behavior of poor choices and emotions and partially-formed brains and called those “values” or “caring”. 

Instead, I hope you DO the caring. Remember that these are children. They don’t have your experience or your perspective or your stability or your fully-formed brain. 

I hope you give them the love and support and caring  in your class that will HELP THEIR BRAINS DEVELOP FURTHER AND BETTER. Honestly, not to simplify, but feeling safe and loved and supported is like a cast on a broken bone. It supports the brokenness and lets it heal and grow what and where it needs to safely without being further damaged. 

Getting on their case regularly, yelling at them, or writing them up for not working -- it’s like bumping that broken bone. It doesn't let it heal. 

Kids who struggle have hormones and emotional turmoil. They have social media drama that we didn't have. They have family problems we don’t know about. They have romance confusion we have forgotten about. They have executive functioning struggles and learning disabilities many of us don’t know as much about.  

But 94% of them want to go to college. Most of them care about their education. But that other stuff gets in the way, just like my couch (or my last bout of being sick) gets in the way of my valuing my health and exercise. :) 

How can you help them develop their brains and become stronger students? How can you work to see the caring behind all the crap they have to deal with? How can you bring that out of them in a positive way? I love to hear the amazing things you’re doing? Email me newmantr@pcsb.org

Thank U, Next

I realize that I am too old to listen to Ariana Grande but I do anyway. I refuse to be the kind of person who stopped listening to new music when grunge died.

If you are too old to listen to Ariana Grande, too, you might have missed the song, “Thank U, Next” where she sings to all of her exes and tells them what she learned from them and how ready she was/is to move on from them.

At this point in the school year, you may be ready to say “Thank U, Next” to this year’s group of kids. Some years, I remember feeling that way in February.

“Thanks, kids. Is it time for next year yet? Or at least, is it time for summer yet? When will these children be GONE?!?!?!”

What I really want to focus on, is the ability to learn from anyone who crosses your path -- including the students.

I know THEY are supposed to learn from YOU. But I think you can learn a lot from them, too.

The best way to do that is through an end-of-the-year survey.

Sure, your students have been annoying and ... REALLY annoying ... and some of them have been dishonest or unpleasant or bewildering or even outright nasty.

But you will be surprised at how many of them will be honest and helpful on a survey like this. Sometimes even the toughest kids might open up on this sort of thing.

You can survey them on paper. You can survey them digitally. You can survey them pre-printed (does anyone have any copies left?!) You can survey them on index cards, or with QR codes or on their phones or on plain old notebook paper or in OneDrive or Google Docs or on scantron.

It’s a great thing to do on one of those weird days when you see one group for three hours and the other for 15 minutes.

But just do it.

What  should I ask on a survey?

It depends on what you want to know and where you want to grow....

Here is a huge pile of questions. DON’T ask them ALL! Choose the 5-10 you most want to know about and ask those. You can gear them more toward your management, your lesson planning, your learning activities or your emotional support.

• Which unit was the most interesting to you this year?  
• Why was this unit the most interesting to you?
• Which way did you learn the most? (then, give options like “reading”, “group work”, “projects”, “graphic organizers”, etc.)
• Why do you think these ways were the best?
• If you could go back and start the year/semester over again, would you do anything differently? Why or why not?
• What was the best part of this class?
• What was the worst part of this class?
• What could I have done to teach you better?
• What did I do that was the most helpful to you?
• What was the most important thing you learned this year?
• What could I have done to improve this class?
• What will you remember most about this class?
• What else do you want to tell me about this class?
• Name something that made it hard for you to learn this year.
• What should your teacher do differently next year?
• Did you feel challenged this year? Why or why not?
• How has your confidence in _________ (subject) improved this year?
• What is one piece of advice that you would share with a student who is entering this class next year?
• Did you feel as though I had high expectations of you?
• Explain a time in class in which you were able to overcome a struggle.
• Finish this sentence: “If Mr./Ms. ______ only knew __________________”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Kids are surprisingly insightful and honest on these things.

I know you are end-of-the-year exhausted, but this is totally worth the 5 minutes it will take to pick your favorite questions from above and put them in the format of your choice.  

Your kids will surprise you.

In a good way.

Have any great survey questions I missed? Email me at newmantr@pcsb.org