Flasky Masky Christmas

 

This year has been like no other. This holiday season has been like no other, as we agonize over travel and who to celebrate with, try to shop locally while doing everything non-contact, and bake only for ourselves because anything we share has to be pre-wrapped. 

As has become a new Christmas tradition, I’d like to share my parody holiday songs with you. Normally they are about teaching during the December holidays. This year, we add the extra layer of all that is pandemic and 2020. 

I hope you can chuckle a little and make it through the last week before a much needed and even more-deserved winter break. 

(PS -- I apologize that it’s all Christmas songs and no other holidays this year. I usually try to be more inclusive but this year, I literally could not make anything rhyme in any other songs. Auld Lang Syne, for example, is a hot mess. And Dreidel wasn’t working out for me either. I apologize. Instead, please enjoy Daveed Diggs (of Hamilton fame, singing Puppy for Hanukah and realize that I can do nothing to make that perfect song any more fun.)

 

Safe Christmas (to White Christmas)

I’m dreaming 

Of a safe Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Where there’s no virus transmission 

And children listen

To when we ask masks to cover their nose, oh, their nose 

I said, I’m dreaming of a safe Christmas

With every email that I write

May your kids be merry and bright

And may your temp stay a low Fahrenheit

I’ll Be Home for Christmas (to I’ll Be Home for Christmas) 

I'll be home for Christmas

It might be just me

Please have pinot and cookie dough

Delivered right to me

Christmas eve will find me

Where there are no teens

I'll be home for Christmas

If only in stretchy jeans

Joy to the World

Joy to the world, the Break has come! 

Let teachers! Receive! Their rest!

Let every teacher leave their classroom,

And don’t grade anything,

And don’t grade anything,

And don’t grade, and don’t grade, and don’t grade anything.

Joy to the world, rest teacher brains 

Let parents watch their girls and boys;

While Canvas and emails, grades and gains

Can wait ‘til ‘21 to annoy

Can wait ‘til ‘21 to annoy

Can wait, can wait ‘til ‘21 to annoy

Flasky-Masky Christmas (to Holly-Jolly Christmas

)

Have a flasky-masky Christmas 

It's the best time of the year

Well I don't know if there'll be ‘Rona

But have a cup of cheer

Have a flasky-masky Christmas

And when you walk down the street

Say hello to friends you know

And everyone from six feet! 

Have a restful, safe winter break, my friends and colleagues. Thank you for everything you have done for our kiddos, day in and day out. You have been the normal in many of their upended lives and the love in many moments of stress. Go take care of yourself and enjoy your time off! 

-Tracy