The Candy Is About To Kick In

Happy October! It’s time for (some other people in some other states) to bust out their pumpkin spice lattes, sweaters, and halloween candy!

Don’t worry, y’all. I’m still sweatin’ right here in FL with you.

But I’ve seen the Halloween candy, too. It’s calling to me. I’m trying to behave  -- but it’s only Oct 3!! Only 28 more days until Halloween (when it’s socially acceptable to eat all the candy).

Here as we begin October together, I have been seeing a BUNCH of  classrooms where teacher-student relationships are amazing. I have been seeing some places where the kids who are unwilling to work in Class A are doing the hard work of thinking, growing, and learning in Class B. I have been seeing students who will yell and cuss at one teacher now settle in and practice self-correcting their language for another teacher. Kids who refuse to participate in one class actively leading a group in another class.

But I have also seen the Halloween Candy and I know where it’s going. Straight into those kids’ bloodstreams, ready to pump them up and give them a reason/excuse to act up.

Here is your friendly Public Service Announcement to remind all teachers out there that our students .... are not adults

They’re kids. Adolescents. Tweens & Teens.

Even sugared up, they’re still not adults (especially?)

And they’re still learning. They’re each a “work in progress”.

And they mess up. A Lot.

To be fair, I mess up a lot, too. Here are some examples of the many manifestations of my own imperfection:

• My house is a mess right now.
• I literally can’t remember when I last cleaned the inside of my fridge.
• I haven’t worked out in 46 days in a row.
• I ate cake three times last week.
• I sent my kids to school with the wrong lunch boxes (each other’s)
• I can’t get my kid to eat vegetables.  
• I check my phone at stoplights.
• I forgot to pay a weird walk-in-clinic bill in a reasonable amount of time because I thought insurance covered it and now it’s on my credit report.
• I didn’t go to the dentist for a whole year.
• I was snarky and checked my email a lot during a training last spring.
• I had side conversations through a meeting recently.

I’m not perfect with responsibility and organization and timeliness either. Thank goodness that my boss (Hi, Michelle!) doesn’t dock points (or worse, dollars!) off me every time I do something less-than-perfectly.

My bosses, colleagues, and friends have always let me know where I need to improve. And honestly, natural consequences do that, too (Don’t clean? Have dirty house. Don’t turn in bill? Have to pay late fee.)

But they have never punished me because of the once-a-year day that I leave my laptop at home or because I forgot to fill out a form correctly (thanks, Kim!) or because sometimes a Wednesday email goes out on a Thursday (uh, life happens). When I mess up, those people in my life help me figure out what went wrong and how to fix it.

So -- how can we do more of that for kids? Kids have a LOT LESS experience with these things than we adults do. Kids are still learning and need support.

If we can forgive ourselves and the other adults in our lives -- why can’t we do that for our students? If the adults in their lives don’t have it all together perfectly yet (and some of the adults in their lives are really struggling!), why do we expect the kids to have responsibility and self-control and social skills and prioritization mastered?

I know that we know that kids aren’t “finished” people. They’re “still cooking”, still growing. So how can we assume goodwill and assume that a kid isn’t being an intentional jerk -- that he or she is instead feeling frustrated, confused, forgetful, unvalued, or like a failure.

When a kid acts out or doesn’t do what we ask or gives up or turns things in late (or not at all), or checks his phone, how can we help the kid do better next time?

How can we remember to approach student behavior from our relationship with the kids and from a point of helping the student actually learn from his or her mistakes?

What do you do to help you remember that they’re kids and that they’re still learning? How can we do more corrective help and keep up those relationships (even in candy season)?

I always love to hear from you! Email me at newmantr@pcsb.org

And have a piece of candy for me! I struggle with impulse control sometimes, too, just like the kids.