The Big District Blobby Monster

So there is a hilarious blogger, Allie Brosh,who had a blog called “Hyperbole and a Half”. It sometimes uses the kinds of inappropriate words that middle and high school teachers are TOTALLY unfamiliar with (HA!), so I won’t link it here.

But in her blog, Allie once channeled her inner English teacher and freaked out once about the way some people write a lot as one word: alot, instead of the correct separation into two words: a lot.

Allie decided that the one-word version was a monster. An Alot Monster. Allie is a pretty funny woman who draws like a six year old. Here’s how she describes the Alot Monster:

The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar.  It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.  

For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine:

Similarly, when someone says "alot of _______", I picture an Alot made out of whatever they are talking about.  

You can read her blog yourself -- and see the various versions of Alot monsters that the creative folks on the internet have created.

But I have to say, that I have an imaginary visual in my head, too. Only instead of seeing the mis-typed Alot Monster, my monster visual is when someone talks about The District.

For example, whenever someone says “The District” (pronounced with capital letters, of course) I imagine the Big District Blobby Monster.

He looks a lot like the Alot monster in my head

I mean, when they refer to the district in certain ways -- like “The District is making us do  _____” or “The District is looking at _____________” or “ The District has this new initiative of _________”-- it kinda sounds like the district isn’t made of real people. It’s like the district is a Big District Blobby Monster.

It’s particularly funny when they refer to Social Studies, because there are only 6 of us. If you need an introduction, here you go!

• Linda Whitley is the K-8 Social Studies Specialist.
• Matt Blum is the 9-12 Social Studies Specialist.
• Cassie Slone is the Elementary SS staff developer.
• Kim Jackson is the Social Studies secretary.
• Cindy Flora is the Multicultural/PMAC/Character Ed Staff Developer.
• I am the Middle School SS Staff Developer

That’s it. That’s all of us for aaalllll of K-12 Social Studies. We are so busy trying to do the work of a billion people, we don’t often even get us all in the same room together!

So, the next time you think of The District as a Big Blobby District Monster (that is the cousin of the Alot monster), think about the individuals behind that Big District Blobby Monster. Sometimes, it really does seem like a Big District Blobby Monster. But sometimes, it’s just one member of our little department :)

Has the Big District Blobby Monster been an image in your mind, too? As always, I leve to hear from you! Email me at newmantr@pcsb.org